Recently, I decided to put down in words a simple set of rules I try to live by. Think Gibbs in NCIS – be fewer rules! I wanted to be able to give them to my kids, something they can refer back to in their mind when they are making decisions or looking to the the future. These are not grand declarations or world-changing insights, just small truths that I’ve learned (and often relearned) over time.
Here they are:
- Be yourself, accept others.
- Be kind, starting with you.
- Be honest, take responsibility.
- Be curious, seek truth.
- Fear ignorance, not failure.
- Be brave, never reckless.
- Be strong, but don’t harden.
- Be confident, but humble.
- Be playful, never foolish.
- Seek joy, live with purpose.
That’s it. Ten rules. But as I looked at them written down, I realised something else—they form the bones of how I approach gamification too. These personal rules could just as easily be a quiet manifesto for ethical, human-focused design. So here’s the deeper dive: what each rule means to me, and how it maps to designing meaningful gamified experiences.
1. Be yourself, accept others
What it means to me: You should be you, be who you want to be, love who you want to love. But, you also have to accept others for who they are, who they want to be, who they want to love. Diversity is what makes our world so amazing – if you are prepared to look. If you can’t accept yourself, how can you accept others?
Design meaning: Allow for player choice. Let people express who they are. Don’t design systems that try to flatten everyone into the same profile or playstyle. Diversity and Inclusion is good – no matter what anyone else might say.
RAMP: Autonomy & Relatedness — People need freedom to be themselves and feel seen in a system. You can’t create engagement without it.
2. Be kind, starting with you
What it means to me: My original key philosophy was the Bill and Ted philosophy of “Be excellent to each other”. I still believe that and most of this list comes from digging deeper. But this is so key – be kind to everyone, and that includes you. If you can’t be kind to yourself, how can you be kind to others?
Design meaning: Empathy in design is everything. Be gentle with your users. Don’t build systems that shame or punish people for learning or failing.
RAMP: Relatedness — Kindness builds connection. And that connection is the bedrock of any meaningful experience.
3. Be honest, take responsibility
What it means to me: Transparency, integrity, responsibility – all core tenants for how I try to live. Without these, it all seems a bit pointless. Be open about what you are doing, live with integrity and take responsibility for your actions and your behaviour!
Design meaning: Don’t manipulate. Be transparent about goals, rewards, and mechanics. If something doesn’t work, admit it and fix it.
RAMP: Purpose — When users trust your system, they’re more likely to stick with it. Integrity strengthens purpose.
4. Be curious, seek truth
What it means to me: Never stop trying to ask questions, learning and trying new things, exploring the world. But be rigorous, look for the facts, look for the truth. Verify everything, even if you don’t always like the answers.
Design meaning: Encourage exploration and discovery. Let users uncover meaning rather than having it spoon-fed.
RAMP: Mastery & Autonomy — Curiosity leads to learning. Give people space to ask questions and follow their own paths.
5. Fear ignorance, not failure
What it means to me: This links to the last rule, there is no excuse for ignorance, now more than ever. The knowledge of the world is never more than a few inches from you. On the flip side, you can’t fear failure. Failure is how we learn, but we are so programmed by the world to believe that failure is bad. Fail fast, learn fast, never ever stop trying.
Design meaning: Make failure safe. Design systems where learning from mistakes is encouraged and expected.
RAMP: Mastery — Real growth comes through challenge, not avoiding it. If players aren’t allowed to fail, they’ll never really succeed.
6. Be brave, never reckless
What it means to me: Put yourself out there, try things that scare you, chase your dreams, but never go in blind. Make sure you understand the risks and have plans for what happens if things don’t go the way you expected!
Design meaning: Try bold things, but don’t lose the player along the way. Complexity for its own sake is just noise.
RAMP: Purpose — Bravery in design is admirable, but it has to serve the user’s goals, not just show off the designer’s cleverness.
7. Be strong, but don’t harden
What it means to me: Stand your ground, don’t let people walk all over you, but don’t harden your heart. It’s easy to let the world break you down, turn you against everyone. But if you keep your heart open, wonderful things can happen.
Design meaning: Build resilience into your systems, not rigidity. Good design bends before it breaks.
RAMP: Mastery — Let users struggle, adapt, and grow stronger. Just don’t make them do it blindfolded.
8. Be confident, but humble
What it means to me: Being sure if your abilities is fine, good even. You should be proud of the things you’ve done and the abilities you’ve learned. Show off, strut, but keep yourself in check, be humble. Don’t be arrogant and always be able.to back yourself up, and be willing to take on the opinions of others.
Design meaning: Don’t assume you know better than your users. Build feedback loops. Let them help shape the system.
RAMP: Autonomy — Confidence is good, but humility creates room for co-creation—and that’s where engagement really grows.
9. Be playful, never foolish
What it means to me: Play is powerful, but it isn’t the same as being silly. There’s a difference between humour and mockery, joy and distraction. Play is about finding lightness, creativity and connection—it’s not an excuse to avoid responsibility. Don’t be remembered for being a clown. Make sure they don’t think that of you.
Design meaning: Respect the power of play. Don’t treat it as an afterthought. But don’t mistake gimmicks for fun, either.
RAMP: Relatedness & Autonomy — Playfulness invites people in. Done right, it makes everything more human.
10. Seek joy, live with purpose
What it means to me: Life is for living. Look forward to opportunities to enjoy it. Find things you love, find people you love and who love you. Appreciate the little moments that bring you joy. That said, don’t live a frivolous life. Find meaning and purpose in what you do. You don’t have to change the world, but make sure you look for opportunities to do good—and to be good.
Design meaning: Design for something bigger than clicks. What’s the story? What’s the reason someone would come back tomorrow?
RAMP: Purpose — This is the heart of it all. Give people a reason to care, and they’ll do more than just participate—they’ll believe in what they’re doing.
What words of wisdom would you leave for your kids? As I said, my overriding philosophies are still Be Excellent to Each Other and Perfection in Simplicity, but what are yours?
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